✍️ Writing Review - 2025-08-07¶

tags: #ielts/writing/task2 #writing/gpt-edited #ielts/economy

📄 Prompt / 题目¶

Some people think encouraging the rich to spend more helps economic growth, while others believe governments should help the poor to consume. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

📝 My Draft¶

There is ongoing debate whether ecounraging the rich to spend more or help the poor to consume can boost the economy better.In my opoinion,provide the lower-income groups is more effective and socialble way.

It's sure that some of the poor doesn't have enough money due to the lazy habit.But there're still many of them can't work nor doesn't want work,because of illness,disable,or just old age.Government support is really essenstial to ensure ther basic life.Without the lowest care,they will be homeless,died of disease...It's not a responsible society doing!A mature government must take action like low-income assistance,health insurance,and pension fund.

Not denying promot the consumption desire of the wealthy can help growthing the economic.But it need lots of works and cost. The wealth people always want better,so they focus on the luxury and high-end goods.So the most money will go aboard or go to the luxury,just a little part of them will take part in people's livelihood.With the outflow of cash,national property will be hurt.However if someone decorate there house,it can provide some working position for the poor.The circle of economy is a nice way to boost the country economy.

While both approaches can contribute to the economy, ensuring the basic consumption ability of the poor not only strengthens social resilience but also promotes inclusive and lasting growth.

🧠 Feedback Summary¶

项目	分数	评语
Task Response / 内容回应	6.0 /9	明确表达立场，结构完整，但论证层次稍浅，缺乏细节支持。
Coherence & Cohesion / 结构衔接	5.5 /9	有基本段落与连接，但句间过渡略跳跃，连接词单一。
Lexical Resource / 词汇多样性	5.5 /9	词汇有重复，部分用词不准确，拼写错误较多。
Grammar Accuracy / 语法准确性	5.0 /9	有尝试用长句，但语法错误频繁，限制表达清晰度。

🔁 Revised Version¶

There is ongoing debate about whether encouraging the rich to spend more or helping the poor to consume is a better way to stimulate economic growth. In my opinion, supporting lower-income groups is a more effective and socially responsible approach.

While it is true that some individuals may struggle financially due to personal reasons, many others are unable to work due to illness, disability, or old age. In such cases, government support is essential to ensure basic human dignity. Without even the minimum social protection, people may become homeless or die from preventable conditions. This is not what a responsible society should allow. A mature government must implement measures such as low-income subsidies, health insurance, and pension systems.

Admittedly, encouraging the wealthy to spend more can contribute to economic activity to some extent. However, this approach often requires high costs and yields limited returns. Wealthy individuals tend to focus their spending on luxury goods or overseas markets, which may not directly benefit the domestic economy. Only a small portion of their consumption goes into sectors related to public welfare or job creation. In contrast, investment in basic services or housing renovation can generate employment opportunities and strengthen the economic cycle at the grassroots level.

While both approaches may have their merits, ensuring the basic consumption ability of lower-income groups not only strengthens social resilience but also promotes inclusive and sustainable growth. Therefore, governments should prioritize policies that empower the poor, which will result in a more balanced and robust economy in the long run.

📍 Expression Highlights¶

亮点表达：
- government support is essential to ensure basic human dignity
- strengthen the economic cycle at the grassroots level
- promote inclusive and sustainable growth
可替换的弱表达：
- "growthing the economic" → "stimulate economic growth"
- "go to the luxury" → "spend on luxury goods"
- "a nice way to boost the country economy" → "strengthen the national economy"